I walk the line..

I don’t want to hurt them and yet I find myself hating them. Why do I feel so disconnected from them? I thought things would be better once I’d gotten over all the rebellion, and in a way they are – infinitely better actually. But I still feel misunderstood and bullied, like I've gotten the short end of the stick. I feel mis-trusted, angry, sad, and worst of all - disconnected.
And I know they care, and they’d hate that I feel like this, but honestly I don’t know how to make it better. I feel like they know I take things seriously, that I’m more sensitive than K, that it’s easy to emotionally blackmail me, and without realizing it, they use it to their advantage. They know I’ll listen, and for some reason that seems to have worked against me. And you know what the worst bit is? That I still want to be a good daughter. I wish I could just fuck it all, and do exactly what I want. I wish I stopped trying to walk the line between making both of us happy. M, where are you when I need you?