Five Feet Zero

self indulgent and short.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

And tomorrow we go back to being friends

Whew. I was so looking forward to a chilled long weekend, but it's 2 am on Monday night, and I can safely say that this weekend will go down as one of the most stress-ridden ones when someone decides to write the fivefeetzero-nama (the writing of which I believe is inevitable). Anyway, an update on the events of the last four days will follow but right now it's time for 'fivefeetzero's burning issue of the week' (da da da dum). So, I've been thinking about male-female friendships and their platonicity (or the lack therein). In my experience, when a girl and a boy become close it is inevitable that one party falls for the other. Of course, once there is a rejection from either side, the relationship generally settles into an easy-going friendship.
But here's the bigger question I want to get to: What is the acceptable level of physical contact in a male-female friendship? And the reason I ask is this: I'm extremely comfortable with most of my male friends, and hugging, hand-holding and kisses-on-the-cheek are totally normal. And yet, I realise that the physical contact is much greater with close male friends as compared to female ones. Which begs the question: Does the increased physicality stem from a non-platonicity, which is the most natural equation between a man and a woman?
It's also been my experience that a tacit acceptance of the hugs, kisses etc can be misconstrued by the other side to be an encouragement for any non-platonic feelings that might be brewing. How then, is a girl to differentiate between physical closeness which is simply a healthy expression of platonic affection, and one which signals the desire to take the friendship to the next level?
Err..I've just re-read the post and have realised that I'm being pretty incoherent, but it's late and I want to get to bed. However, if you are male and are reading this, please tell me what you think (the above is to be read out in Rajdeep Sardesai/stupid female bimbo newsreader style).
Oh and here's the dope on my super-exciting life:
1. Happily hooked-up with uber-hot Swedish guy. Ah. Sigh. Sigh again.
2. Got my first major solo byline in the magazine (this doesn't read half as impressive as it really is :P).
3. Had a major fight with bestfriend over (1) above and he is now not talking to me.

PS The title of this post is from my favourite Dave Matthews song, Say Goodbye.

7 Comments:

  • At 3:23 PM, Blogger Zaphod said…

    lol, read your post on eM's blog...made me want to stand up and yell, 'go forth and conquer!'

     
  • At 3:27 PM, Blogger Zaphod said…

    okay, here's what i have to say on the post, the guy girl friends thing, yeah i have had some feeings for best friends with not so happy results....but on the other hand, i have had women friends sleep next to me with nothing happening...so its hard to tell, i can have a girl sit in my lap and my arm around her and not feel anything just as easily as i could feel something...i dont think there are any rules, shit just happens and feelings just come up...oh those goddamn uncontrollable feelings...oh dear dear dear

     
  • At 4:41 PM, Blogger Aryan said…

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

     
  • At 8:50 PM, Blogger Egghead said…

    n my experience, when a girl and a boy become super-close it is inevitable that one party falls for the other.
    I completely agree with that statement. This phenomenon has far more to do with biology and evolution than with psychology and intellect. And it runs far deeper too.

     
  • At 3:12 PM, Blogger fivefeetzero said…

    zaph - oh dear indeed. this week has been one of those 'oh-but-you-did-such-and-such-and-i-thought-that-meant-you-were-falling-in-love-with-me-too-and-now-you've-betrayed-me' type weeks. total mindfucked-ness has resulted. so yeah, i'm like full of hate for all men that are confused about their feelings for their female friends. bah!
    aryan - dude, wtf??!
    eggy - not much i can say that. i'd say emotional and physical attraction are as important as the biological attraction between a man and a woman.

     
  • At 2:46 PM, Blogger Zaphod said…

    well, wish it were all that simple..i mean there are occassions when i have had feelings for my best friend (with dire consequences) and there have been times when I had feelings for a girl but now we are the best of friends, bottom line tho babe, it aint ever straight forward like that see?
    oh and am glad you appreciate Scruffy and the late Cap'n...but yeah Lhasas can be beasts but once they warm up to you, they do adorable things like if you are sitting on the bed reading the paper and they want your attention, they come and sit on your lap on top of the paper while you are going what the fuck while trying to balance your tea while this hefty hairy thing is happily looking at you...will try and put up pictures since I miss them!

     
  • At 3:19 PM, Blogger Nirav Shah said…

    Well, well, well... what you mention is a problem I have faced numerous times... I really like women, especially the intelligent kind !

    Often our conversations start with platonic topics, then get personal and finally romantic. Sometimes I fell for the person, while often they fell for me ! Each time, luckily for me, we still remained close friends...

    of course it remains your call to decide if you want to convert your close friend into your bf. Unless your best friend has many traits you don't want in a bf, you should give it a shot !

     

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