Urban humour

Oh check out these websites - so funny:
www.overheardinnewyork.com
www.overheardinlondon.com

In journalistic terms - fluff

Since I'm still new to this, and suffering from major 'new-girl-at-school' performance anxiety, I put a lot of thought into my posts. My options for today were:
1. Writing about how my mother accidently read the last post and found out some things she so did not want to know about me. She really did. It was not pretty.
2. Or, I could tell you five things about me that most people don't know.
I've chosen the latter. I know most people that read this blog know me (in real life) as well, but it's fun to pretend that they don't. And as the blog suggests, I must self indulge. So here goes:
2.1 I have hideous feet. And I don't really know when they got this bad, but they are possibly the worst feet in history.
2.2 I wanted to be named Rosie and wanted to become an air-hostess when I was little. Don't ask me why.
2.3 I still sleep with my 13-year-old blanket.
2.4 When I was 13 my voice cracked and I wondered if I was a boy. I've since been saddled with a voice that I like to think of as husky, but that my grandmother terms unladylike.
2.5 Rumour has it that one my ex-boyfriends has turned gay. I don't know why I'm publicising this fact.
Okay, okay. I promise my next post will be full of intellectual fodder. Not.

The Weekend Blues

I've been battling for a while in my head whether I should allow this blog to become all emotional and angst-y, despite the fact that I've already made it public to several people I know. There's a huge desire to purge all this nonsense in my head - there's something so gratifying in knowing that I can just talk and talk and people will (perhaps, maybe) listen. Yet, it's not-so-fun when the post goes up and you know the random acquaintance you might have told about your blog could be reading it. Oh what the hell..
So my ex-boyfriend is in town, and this isn't just any ex-boyfriend, this is the i-was-so-in-love-that-i-couldn't-see-beyond-him type ex-boyfriend. The kind that you never imagined your life without, and the kind that you've been with for as long as you've had any semblance of personality. The kind that you grew up with, the kind that you first had sex with, and did all sorts of other 'firsts' with. The kind you wanted to marry.
Anyway, he's in town and I know it's over and that if I were to see him objectively I'd see that he's a only a child who just can't seem to grow up. But oh, it hurts. It hurts to sit next to him in his car (his car, cars have a remarkable significance in relationships) and to do nothing. To not be able to hold his hand or exchange secret glances, or feel that funny, warm feeling that comes with knowing you're being loved at that very minute.
And I'm trying so very hard to be all friendly and chummy. I never know what he's feeling and so I don't want to be the cranky, weepy one, despite being exactly that throughout the relationship. I want to show him that I've grown up - That I'm 23 now and I'm into meditation and spirituality and I'm not emotionally high-strung anymore. But of course, being me, I go off the deep end and become bitchy and weird and make so-not-funny jokes about his various liaisons, and quip about him getting some oriental ass. It obviously doesn't work and I've come off looking desperately idiotic.
Now I'm at home at 3:30 am, rueing the state of my life and existence. It doesn't look like I'll ever get into a relationship again, and I have a moustache.
Btw, if anyone I know is reading this, including the above mentioned ex-boyfriend, please don't say anything to me in real life.

For lack of originality

Now that I'm past my first post, I have a few (I think pretty pertinent) questions: Who actually reads blogs when they first start? And if no one reads them in the first place, how does a blog build up a 'fan base'? Is someone likely to search for fivefeetzero on Google and thereby find my blog? Ever? Are people really even interested? If you have somehow managed to stumble upon this (pretty pointless) blog, I would be ever so grateful if you could answer any/all of the above.

For posterity

If this is to become yet another born-and-dead blog, I hereby declare that I tried.